When someone close to you receives palliative care, you might find yourself standing at their doorstep, and confused about where to knock. You want to help, but the fear of saying the wrong thing or intruding keeps you frozen.
This uncertainty is completely normal since learning how to support a friend with palliative care doesn’t come with a manual.
As a palliative care service, we know how difficult these times can be. We’ve helped thousands of Queenslanders through this journey at www.palassist.org.au, and we can help you too.
In this guide, you’ll learn practical ways to support someone in palliative care. Here’s what we’ll cover:
- How to visit and provide emotional support to your friend
- Practical ways to help with daily tasks and errands
- Community service projects that support families
- Professional resources available through PalAssist
Let’s explore the meaningful ways you can be there for someone during this important time.
How Can You Support a Friend in Palliative Care?
You can visit regularly, listen without judgment, and offer practical help to support a friend in palliative care.
We know when someone you care about receives palliative care, you might feel hesitant about the best way to help. But the most valuable thing you can give is your continued friendship, even when the situation feels difficult or uncomfortable.
Here’s how you can be there for your friend:
Visiting and Spending Time Together
You might worry about saying the wrong thing, but your presence is what counts most. Just before you visit, call ahead to check the best time to visit your loved one.
When you’re together, you don’t need to fill every moment with conversation or find the perfect words. Sometimes sitting quietly together is enough. Even when the person can’t respond actively, your presence brings comfort because they sense you’re there and they’re not alone.
Providing Emotional Support
The best way to support emotionally is by listening without trying to fix things. Listen more than you speak and give them space to express anger, sadness, or fear freely. And avoid saying things like “everything happens for a reason” or being overly optimistic about their prognosis.
These comments feel dismissive to the person. Instead, accept natural responses like tears and don’t avoid talking about death if they want to discuss it openly with you.
Remember This: Let silence sit comfortably between you rather than rushing to fill quiet moments.
What Practical Help Can You Offer?
Beyond emotional support, practical help reduces daily stress and exhaustion for families managing palliative care. Offer to handle household tasks, errands, and coordinate support with other friends. These actions free up time for carers to focus on their loved one’s comfort and care, and you don’t need special skills to help.
Learn how you can assist:
Household Tasks and Errands
Small tasks like mowing or cooking free up time for families to focus on care. So try helping with practical support like:
- Mowing lawns
- Doing laundry
- Collecting essential items for the family member
- Walk the pets when carers are busy
- Pick up the groceries
Also, you can cook meals and drop them off in containers that don’t need returning. When you help with these tasks, you relieve carers from the constant pressure of daily responsibilities.
Coordinating Support with Others
Many people want to help but don’t know how to organise effectively. If several friends are offering assistance, create a schedule with other friends to give primary carers regular breaks so they can rest or attend to their own needs.
When coordinating support from multiple family members, respect the family’s wishes about timing and the type of help they need.
Worth Noting: One thing often overlooked is anticipatory grief (grief before the loss), which affects everyone supporting the person receiving palliative care, including you. So check in with your own feelings and seek support when you need it.
While friends and family are often the first to help, the broader community can also step in to provide meaningful support.
How Can Community Members Help?
Community members can organise meal trains, offer transport, and provide childcare for families managing palliative care.
The truth is, you don’t need to be a close friend or family member to make a difference. The people around you (like neighbours, church members, and people from community groups) can provide valuable support that eases the burden on families.
Let’s explore how your community can help:
Organising Meal Trains and Food Support
Based on our experience, meal trains are one of the easiest ways to provide consistent support.
To get it started, set up meal rosters so community members can contribute prepared dishes on different days throughout the week. This takes the pressure off families who are too exhausted to cook.
Once you’ve organised the roster, connect families with community food support if they need meal assistance beyond what friends can provide. You can also deliver holiday meal ingredients or prepared food during special occasions.
Offering Transport and Childcare
Families with young children often struggle with daily logistics for things like school pickups and medical appointments. Here’s how transport and childcare help:
- Medical Transport: Drive the family member to medical appointments or pharmacy visits regularly so the primary carer can stay home and rest.
- School Runs: You can pick up children from school, so carers can focus on care without worrying about schedules.
- Maintaining routine: While carers attend to their loved one, try to spend time with children doing homework or activities. This support helps children feel grounded and keeps their routine intact.
What Community Service Projects Support Palliative Care?
Schools and community groups can organise service projects like care package drives and fundraising events that directly help palliative care families. These projects teach students compassion while creating real impact for people facing life-limiting illnesses.
Even students from middle school through university can participate in meaningful activities that support both patients and their families.
The following projects help families the most:
School and Youth Group Activities
Service projects teach students compassion while creating a meaningful impact for isolated patients.
For example, middle school students and high school students can create care packages together filled with comfort items like blankets, books, or puzzle books. Also, college students can volunteer for community service hours with hospice organisations, helping with activities or simply visiting patients.
Based on our experience, community service projects like card-making sessions create a positive impact for patients who may feel lonely or forgotten during their care.
Fundraising and Donation Drives
How can your school or community group raise funds for palliative care services? Well, you can organise events, collect donations, or partner with established charities to make a real difference.
Get started with these community service project ideas:
- Bake Sales: Organise bake sale events as fundraising activities and direct the proceeds to local palliative care charities or organisations like PalAssist.
- Donation Drives: Sometimes families need physical items more than money, so accept donations of school supplies and essential items like toiletries or blankets. Then assemble care packages that families desperately need.
- Charity partnerships: Many nonprofit organisations run community service activities that collect goods or raise money. You can partner with them and focus your efforts on supporting families facing financial strain during palliative care.
Now that you understand how individuals and groups can help, it’s important to know where to access professional guidance and resources when you need expert support.
Where Can You Find Professional Support Services?
While community support helps, you can access professional services, including PalAssist for expert guidance.
Sometimes families need more than what friends and neighbours can provide, and that’s when professional palliative care services become essential. The reason is simple: Health professionals offer specialised support that addresses medical, emotional, and spiritual needs during this challenging time.
Good to Know: Even you can get counselling and guidance from spiritual care practitioner services if faith is important to you or your loved one.
If you’re in Queensland, we provide free support for Queenslanders facing palliative care decisions. Contact us on 1800 725 277 (7 days a week, 7 am–7 pm) to speak with health professionals who understand what you’re going through.
Every Act of Support Counts
Supporting someone in palliative care feels overwhelming, but you already have everything you need to help. Simple actions like visiting regularly, listening without judgment, and handling everyday tasks create meaningful relief for exhausted families. And community involvement through meal trains and service projects extends support beyond close friends.
We’ve covered how to visit and provide emotional support, practical help you can offer, ways community members can assist, and professional resources that guide you through this journey.
You don’t have to face this alone. Our team of registered nurses and allied health professionals will help you work through every conversation, decision, and challenge while supporting your friends or family.
Disclaimer:
This blog provides general health and product information for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace advice from your healthcare professional. Always seek guidance from your GP, nurse, continence advisor, or pharmacist regarding your individual needs. If symptoms persist or you’re unsure about product use, consult a qualified healthcare provider.
